Today we talk to Amber Murray, founder of “See Your Strength,” and a popular public speaker.”
Today she shares with us her real story of depression, suicide Ideation, friendship, self-love, and how she took baby steps to find empowerment. She shows us what courage looks like as she shares her message. Amber helps thousands who struggle in any way with the stresses that life is throwing at them. She engages us on a journey full of hope and shows us how we can start a journey towards healing, and how to be the kind of friend we all need by our side when the darkness is swallowing us whole.
Depression, Postpartum, stress, anxiety, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and so many other deep life issues that land in our world, needing attention and management, can leave us without breath. So often we shoulder more than we can bear and find ourselves doggy paddling, and grasping for a lifeline.
What is Suicide Ideation? Suicidal thoughts, or suicidal Ideation, means thinking about or planning suicide. Feelings can range from a detailed plan to a fleeting consideration. It does not include the final act of suicide.
Most people who experience Ideation do not carry out the act of suicide. However, attempts could still be made. Medical news today offers a comprehensive guide that will help you with multiple aspects of this growing issue. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/kc/suicidal-thoughts-ideation-193026
One of the most powerful lessons we took from this conversation was the importance of being a good friend and ally to those around us. We can’t even begin to comprehend the deep struggles that our neighbors, friends, family, or even the strangers we see every day may be going through. When Paul was missing, and we were down the rabbit hole, desperately trying to find him, we realized how our behaviors had changed. An average drive in the car became more of an unconscious wandering. Have you ever been stuck behind a slow, distracted driver when you were in a hurry, and been so frustrated that you swear big swears and flip birds while honking horns? We were those slow frustrated, unfocused drivers, and we had plenty of horns blaring on our tail. It was a real-life moment that left us realizing that these people had absolutely no idea what was happening in our world. It’s like that as we move in a linear direction forward doing the day to day. When we can pause, observe, listen, and stretch a little, we may become the kind of friend that has the capacity to not only save a life but help change a life. Its the pure act of showing up without judgment, and being brave enough to lean into the pain that another is feeling. It’s doing the dishes, taking care of a baby, lending an ear, cleaning a house, or just holding a hand.
We learned that when tragedy lands in your lap, there will be two kinds of people that show up. There are the first responders and the ambulance chasers. A first responder asks before anything else “are you ok?” And then they proceed to assess the situation and do everything they can to ease your pain, aid your suffering, and soothe
your soul. An ambulance chaser is looking for the drama story, chasing the tragedy, and watching it from afar. Ambulance chasers don’t have skin in the game, but they love to report what they’ve seen as if they are vested in your tragedy. We all need first responders in our life, the ones who meet us where we are and love us through the good, bad and ugly. We also need to become first responders for those around us. There isn’t anything more fulfilling than serving and loving someone through their darkest moments. Let’s practice responding with love to anyone who graces our life. And remember that placing boundaries around toxic people is also a holy practice. Sometimes we have to respond to ourselves in the most loving ways, by keeping harmful people out of our personal spaces. Its a dance on the edge that we have to practice over and over again, but we believe that making our best efforts to show up for others and protect ourselves offers the most profound growth.
We also believe that progress in life is a culmination of baby steps. We tend to gauge our progress on significant results, but if you look behind you, squint your eyes and really look closely, you will recognize that any kind of arrival was built on the little stepping stones along the way. The real secret is to keep trying and do things differently. When you shake up your routine, you lay down little pavers that build a journey. Isn’t that what we are all here for anyway? A big fat journey that breaks us down and then builds us up again, filling the cracks from the fall with, love, connection, growth, and hope.
And the most crucial part of it all is to offer ourselves grace. Because we all make mistakes, chase an ambulance, and have a little gossip that pushes another down. We have all made messes and been in dark places. It’s those who realize that they can grow when they learn and never stop trying to be better and do better, that become the responders in a crisis. We need to love ourselves before anyone else. Our capacity to give is in direct proportion to our ability to respond to ourselves first, with insane love, forgiveness, and courage to get up every single time we go down.
Seeing your strength comes in all of these ways, being a friend, loving yourself, owning your story, and taking baby steps towards progress.
If you have thoughts about suicide;
Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.
If you are in the company of someone who is actively contemplating suicide:
Get help from a trained professional as quickly as possible. The person may need to be hospitalized until the suicidal crisis has passed.
To learn more about Amber and her See Your Strength mirror decals, along with her speaking engagements visit;
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