The constant striving to find security in every aspect of our life can feel like a revolving door. Will you be able to step inside safely? or will you be spit onto the sidewalk with skinned knees? Either way, it’s a lifelong journey where we are asked over and over again to chase it down, catch it, embrace it, and then start all over again. Confidence wears many hats and is woven into every aspect of our lives. Whether in business, family, relationships, talents, or abilities, we are tested over and over again.
Confidence is the bridge to evolution and having the courage to take the first step.
It’s a very personal pilgrimage throughout life. It’s an inward dance that requires self-reflection and courage to navigate. It is born from fear but watered and fed on courage. We hold joy hostage because we fear deeper love and our potential for success. Love and success are big players. When we suffer loss or experience failure, we recoil and don’t dare breathe. There can also be considerable guilt that swallows even the smallest anticipation of joy. It’s just as important to honor our fear, shame, loss, and guilt as the journey of our Joy. It’s in the darkest moments where the magic lives but It’s elusive and takes time to see. The very idea of success can be terrifying because the fear of failure is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. What we don’t realize is that saying yes to the fear is like buying a new pair of shoes, a fancy upgraded version.
How do we even see in the dark, when the pain of loss has devoured us? You have to notice your physical body. The surges and tightening in your throat or stomach. Trembling or feelings of anxiety. How do you feel? How does your body feel? These feelings are your body’s bat signal presenting an opportunity, asking you to say yes when it feels almost impossible. It’s this kind of courage that bestows new confidence and growth. Sometimes we are asked to say yes to life-altering decisions. Coming out, Filing for divorce, Setting boundaries with family members, changing your religious beliefs and so many more. Saying yes to the elephant in the room can be the launching pad to a fulfilled and confident future.
Often our growth requires us to go back and hold hands with our past stories. Sometimes we have to develop a new relationship with who we were. Your confidence is in direct proportion to the love you have for yourself, and who you were along the way. When we heal the past, we are able to change the future. Rumi’s poem the guest house has always been interpreted as the external events that knock at the door. But what if we read it as an internal dialogue, the self-talk and messages we send ourselves, we can change our perception and transform those feelings into the recipe for confidence, courage, and new growth.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Rumi